Wishes for the New Year

I prefer to think of them as ‘wishes’ rather than ‘resolutions’.

It feels more like something that comes from the heart than from the head. It also leaves more room for that awful thing we call unpredictability. Resolutions are beautiful but they are like plans, and we all know sometimes life gets in the way of our plans. Wishes are more like something we cast upon the stars and hope for. And hope is a beautiful sentiment to hold in the palm of your hand as you start a new year.

In thinking up my wishes and hopes for 2017, I tried a new strategy. After all, strategies sometimes make putting pen to paper less daunting, especially in cases where the pen is tapping into your innermost thoughts. I divided my blank page into three sections, each bearing a different title:

- What I love and wish to continue
- What I want more of
- What I want less of or need to let go of

​I had a little bit of fear in me – the kind of anxiety that always plays in my chest in these transition periods, where pressure looms to set lofty goals that you are always a little afraid not to reach. A new year and a blank page – both bring about the same kind of slightly unsettling feeling. I took a sip of hot chocolate and set my pen to the page. From then, I lifted it only when I lifted my eyes, to look around me though only seeing what I wanted to write when I set the pen back down. 

​What I love and wish to continue in 2017. I love the life I have created for myself, the peace that my everyday space brings. My home is my sanctuary. It feels like a little haven that I am protective of, one that I hope will also protect me. I wish to feel true peace in small ounces, when I least expect to feel it, like when I make my morning cappuccino, watch the sunlight seep in, create something scrumptious in the kitchen, or tend to my quiet urban garden. I wish to continue with the conviction I had in 2016 that what comes first is what I crave to do and be, not in an entirely selfish way -- because often what I crave to do is to love and help others - but in a way that feels intrinsic and balanced. What I treasure and wish to carry over into the new year is love, connections, travel, generosity, music, creativity, productivity, ideas, laughter and daily inspiration.

Photo credit: Dallas Curow Photography

Photo credit: Dallas Curow Photography

Photo credit: Dallas Curow Photography

​What I want more of in 2017. I want to breathe more deeply and more often. It sounds crazy, but so often I catch myself actually holding my breath when I am doing something physically or mentally exerting! I’d also like to smile more when I am alone. I smile plenty with others, but smiling in one’s own space is more representative of one’s peace and quietude and, who knows, it may even attract more of those good vibes. I’d like to be more confident more often – rather than feeling waves of confidence interspersed with self-doubt. I wish to feel more acceptance and patience in the face of high tides, open questions and twists of fate I don’t understand. I am already grateful for having identified these “resolutions”, and can feel myself consciously changing the word “want to” to “will”.  

Photo credit: Dallas Curow Photography

​What I want less of or need to let go of in 2017. I wish to let go more regularly of any negativity. I wish to stop myself before (or at least mid-way) through any unnecessary complaining or negative self-talk in 2017, and to feel truly trusting of my decisions, no matter the reactions of others or the little voice in my head that just likes to cause trouble. I want to let go of the fear of life’s unknowns that sometimes freezes my decisions or steals my peaceful sleep. In any way, big or small, I don’t want to do anything I don’t want to do, or be anything I don’t want to be. 

​Once these wishes were on paper, I felt bolder and braver. I wrote down a header called “goals”. These were goals for my life, my health and wellness, my scientific career and my business, in terms of milestones I wish to achieve but also feelings I want to have in all those areas. When looking at my seemingly chaotic list of goals interspersed with feelings, I suddenly realized something that I think it took me this whole year to come to terms with: that the success of a year is not only measurable in milestones, but also in feelings. Personal growth is hard to quantify and, quite frankly, even hard to notice. The sentence “that was the year I…” does not always need to end with a milestone, a trip, or an event that marked it, but can also be completed with a realization or a feeling – a tiny breakthrough in personal growth. 

Before disconnecting the pen from the heart, I wrote down a last header: “My 3 words for 2017” – a strategy that was inspired by a lovely soul named Alex Beadon. Three words I wish my actions, decisions, thoughts and feelings to embody this year.

Abundance. Passion. Peace.
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What doesn’t fit these themes, doesn’t fit my year. 

I flipped to previous pages in my notebook and at what I had written in my 3 sections, in handwriting that had grown messier (thus more hurried and assertive) on each page. Those 3 words gracefully summarized all those wishes.

I put my pen down, satisfied and excited about the content of those pages, but still feeling that little bit of anxiety about a year that’s new and a ‘me’ that’s unwritten.

No one knows what the year will bring, what winds we’ll weather, what new places we’ll see, who we’ll meet and who we may lose, what we will achieve, what we will regret, how often we’ll feel pain, how often we’ll think to ourselves, “I am happy right now”. It’s a crazy process, Life. It pushes and pulls and hurts and heals. My biggest wish is to look back at the end of the year and to feel peaceful about the now and hopeful about the future.

And I wish the same for all of you!
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Happy New Year, from my heart to yours.