Although I have always been anxious about the passing of time, the melancholy of endings and the uncertainty of new beginnings, I am somehow filled with renewed energy, optimism and courage when the page is turned to January and when 12 months lie ahead, unwritten.
When we look back on a year, our brains seem to try to categorize it as “a good year” or “a tough one”. The truth is, it’s always both.
When I look back on 2019, it stands out as a year filled with tiny moments, incredible triumphs and interesting discoveries.
I took my foot off the guilt pedal, having grown tired of its toxic effect on my mood and mindset. I embodied my philosophies rather than explaining or defending them.
I made sure to reserve my apologies for serious rather than trivial things, and not to let anyone make me lose sight of my strengths, my uniqueness and my power.
It was the year where I finally started to accept the unexpected twists in my path and to embrace them, for everything these twists have brought me and every (unnecessary) thing they have taken away.
It was the year I got better at visualizing the life I wanted to have and taking concrete steps to create that life. It was the year I got better at verbalizing what it is that I do for a living and no longer feeling conflicted that I don’t fit in a neat little box.
It was still a year marked by tremendous physical pain due to endometriosis and complications from scar tissue built up from all my previous surgeries, sometimes making it hard to sleep, eat, move or breathe for days in a row. It was still a year where my words about my body were bitterly unkind, where I vowed to stop bullying it and to start genuinely trusting it, but never managed to stay true to that vow.
It was the year where I poured my soul into a heartfelt piece of writing that I submitted to a national competition but did not even get close to winning. 2019 also brought its share of extremely stressful, unpredictable situations with home repairs and bureaucratic hurdles, where my legal brain had to be sharp, which can be utterly exhausting.
As you may know, instead of choosing a new year's resolution, I always choose 3 words to guide my intentions, goals and decisions every day of the year.
For 2020, my 3 words are:
In this next post, I explain why I settled on these words and what they mean to me. See you there!
From my heart to yours,